Red Shirt, Cindy Wright (She’s keeping her last name, leave her alone)
This was my wife’s idea. Plus some of you have complaining that Red hasn’t been getting hurt often enough. You know you’re horrible people for wishing pain upon him, right? Of course, I’m a horrible person for inflicting it upon him, so whatcha gonna do?
Poor Red. I wonder if we’ll ever find out why the universe hates him so much? I mean, spontaneous combustion is a new one even for him. (Some form of karmic backlash I guess?)