Of course there was something wrong with the whole thing. You had to know there would be.
It was a tough contest, but we have a winner. The song that our favorite Holodeck Pirates sang that won them their drunken Battle of the Bands was…
Hot Plasma
Sung to Iron Cold Iron
http://lesliefish.com/mp3s/iron.mp3
Rum is for the fleetmates — cargo for the raids —
Ore for the craftsman cunning at their trades.”
“Good!” said yellowbeerd, sitting in his hall,
“But Plasma – Hot plasma — is master of them all.”
So he made rebellion ‘gainst heng his liege,
Sailed up before his warship and summoned it to siege.
“Nay!” said the officer on the ship’s bow wall,
“But Plasma – Hot plasma — shall be master of you all!”
Woe for yellowbeerd when his ships all charged,
As the cruel plasma-bolts sent ‘em to the yard;
He was taken prisoner, he was cast in thrall,
And Plasma—Hot plasma — was master of it all!
Yet heng spake kindly (ah, how kind a Lord!)
“What if I release thee now and give thee back thy sword?”
“Nay!” said yellowbeerd, “mock not at my fall,
For Plasma—Hot plasma — is master of men all.”
“Tears are for the craven, prayers are for the clown —
Airlocks for the silly man that cannot keep a crown.”
“As my loss is grievous, so my hope is small,
For Plasma—Hot plasma — must be master of men all!”
Yet heng made answer (few such men there be!)
“Here is bread and here is Rum — sit and eat with me.
Eat and drink in the lady’s Name, whiles I do recall
How Plasma– Hot plasma — can be master of men all!”
“Bombs are for the desperate, beams are for the strong.
Points and Tape for weary hearts all cut and bruised with wrong.
I forgive thy treason — I redeem thy fall —
For Plasma—Hot plasma — must be master of men all!”
“Helms are for the valiant — Launchers for the bold!
Thrones and powers for mighty men who dare to take and hold!”
“Nay!” said the Baron, kneeling in his hall,
“But Plasma—Hot plasma — is master of men all!
Plasma out of stars is master of men all!”
Congrats to all who entered, it was a really hard choice and we had to have the Star Pirates community at large break a 3 way tie!
